I opened my front door and at my feet was a hollowed out coconut with orchids and a slim scroll poking out of it like a sundae straw. I picked up the coconut, went back inside my villa, pulled out the scroll and unraveled it. It was a brief but enthusiastic greeting followed by a comprehensive list of activities, from a foam party on the beach to an Oktoberfest celebration at one of their restaurants, to craft classes for kids and adults, more than thirty all in all. The scroll was an invitation for me to partake of any or all of them, and as I was to find out, subject to change from day to day.

“Never a dull moment here, eh?” I thought to myself with a grin.

Slipping the scroll into my back pocket, I closed my front door and set out at a leisurely pace through the sprawling tropical hobbit warren of Crimson Resort and Spa in Mactan Island, Cebu. The narrow lanes were paved with fine pebbles and lined with riotously verdant shrubbery, all well kept yet not stringently manicured like the millimeter-precise garden hedges of Europe. There was an easy feel to the bushes and trees – they were there as ornamentation and to protect privacy but they conveyed a sense of tranquility and informality. Making my way to the center led me to a prodigious infinity pool lined with beach umbrellas and chairs. A waiter placed his palm on his chest while bowing then smiled and asked if I cared for a drink. I smiled back and told him I was fine. Besides, I had my own personal pool in my villa, an ample royal orchid-tiled affair with high walls and blindingly swift wi-fi so I could soak in private while chatting with my wife on Messenger.

The villa itself was cozy and plush, with a well-stocked bar (which unlike other resorts, was already paid for and available for me to indulge in for one full refill of beer, soda and confections), a complimentary bottle of Renmano Chairman’s Selection Shiraz 2016 and an espresso machine with those little sealed shots for just that perfect cuppa. Not to mention the three flatscreen TVs, the queen-sized canopy bed and the snazzy furnishings and décor by Kenneth Cobonpue, I was definitely in some seriously righteous digs.

Truth is, it’s not easy to keep things in a place like Crimson Mactan in tip-top shape.

Didier Belmonte, the general manager, went into detail about how he kept things together. “We have more than 4.9 acres to maintain and every week we have a maintenance committee and we involve everybody in figuring out what needs work, what needs to be repaired or refurbished in the hotel,” he stated. “We have a system where our people take photos of whatever needs attention that they post online for Engineering to see. The weekly meetings are where we bring them up.”

The sheer size of the area makes it challenging for the managers to inspect everything, and Belmonte admitted that they couldn’t always see the entire property. “That’s why it’s so important to involve the whole team – to ensure that the whole resort is maintained up to standards and so our guests are happy and keep coming back.”

Another aspect of keeping the guests happy is giving them options for things to do. “We’re always trying to come up with new trendy ideas that will encourage people to promote Crimson and our activities,” continues Belmonte. “You need to keep people excited over what you do.”

Ah, I thought. That explains the scroll in my pocket. “You always have to be creative and come up with ways to get people to want to post things on their accounts. Social media is very important and you never get better promotion than from a guest who really stayed over and happily posted photos and comments about her stay here.”

Mens Sana In Corpore Sano
One of those things that will get people to share happy posts is Crimson’s Aum Spa, a sizable rejuvenation complex with twenty rooms, a Jacuzzi, steam room and private swimming pool. Inside, skilled therapists knead and mash your body depending on the amount of pressure you want (I chose Industrial Strength and I got a deceptively diminutive master class masseuse, with hands of steel underneath a velvety touch). They had a selection of oils from peppermint to jasmine-sandalwood (I chose the latter and walked away lightly smelling like an offering to Buddha) and began with a floral footbath that hearkened back to New Testament images of Jesus doing the same for His apostles. My last thoughts before I passed out from the delicious finger pounding were whether Jesus would’ve considered a career change from carpentry if He were good at this.

All this sharpened my appetite and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a decent meal. Saffron Restaurant was open and they had a hefty spread of about six to eight stations from dimsum to crepes-while- you-wait, to sushi and a grill that had some of the best marlin, cod and salmon I had ever tried in a buffet. The fish had a lovely smoked aroma and simply melted in my mouth. Popping some spoonfuls of ceviche hors d'oeuvres and freshly popped kropek (fish crackers) made the meal fun, healthy and quite unique.

For a less conventional, more visceral gastronomic experience, I turned to Enye, the latest collaboration between Crimson Mactan and renowned Spanish chef Chele Gonzalez. This cleverly designed homage to beef and manliness – everything is bull-themed, from lamp sconces to a light installation made of wine bottle bottoms depicting two bulls about to collide with each other – is a joy to behold and an even greater pleasure to dine in.

All I could say is Cebuanos don’t have to come to Manila to get the good stuff. They could stay right here and they’d be fine. The Jamon y Pollo and Chorizo Croquetas were the most perfect I’d ever tried – a crust barely a millimeter thick yet crunchy and holding a creamy potato and chicken, ham and chorizo center. My personal favorite though was his Carpaccio de Wagyu with Parmesan Ice Cream (which wasn’t sweet at all, but I would gladly eat a bucket of ).

Chef Chele gave me a mischievous grin as he saw me attack his dishes with gusto, and gesturing towards the devastation on my plate said, “That is exactly what we work to do. We don’t want it to be pretentious, we don’t want to build huge expectations. That is the experience that we want you to get. Nothing complicated. It’s nothing but the best of Spanish cuisine, but fun and contemporary too.”

Nightfall found me gazing at the horizon beyond, arms folded on a softly glowing table, surrounded by the blue lights of the Azure Beach Club. I had a Candy Crash in my hand, a cocktail of vodka, lime juice and orange liqueur poured on top of a tuft of cotton candy. On the table was a novel creation by Azure’s resident chef, Godfrey Laforteza, called a Blanket, a vegetable and shrimp mélange with a sheet of rice paper on top, resembling a spider web. I speared the tasty noodle sheet then spun it ‘round my fork, as Azure’s resident DJ churned out chill beats to the delight of the partying guests around me.

Yeah, never a dull moment here, indeed.